11.5.97

i always wanted to believe i meant more to you than these
i always wanted to believe you’d stop killing me in threes
i always wanted things you did not desire
i always wanted to add heat to the fire
but rest assure i got your message
rest assure i’m not your little whore
you could not have made me feel anymore rejected
than those times i laid untouched by you naked
you kiss me gently
then bite me harder
you whisper to me
then silence me louder
now i want to stop feeling anymore
now i want to slam the mother fucking door
just stop beating inside
just stop the replaying of time
your selfish grin has always made you win
you could never be without
to ever know what it is to have a drought
you fill yourself with passing glances
surfacing shallow graves of momentary chances
but don’t you get it
don’t you ever see
you feel nothing without having something
you’re weak to think you’re strong
but one day you’ll look back and see
the warmness that grew from inside of me
there was more than friendly dances
there was more than short broken up romances
something special has been made
something that doesn’t pass by everyday